Episode 17: Burn After Peeing
Nick: So, Ben, what are you going as for Halloween?
Ben: You.
Nick: Me? What does that look like?
Ben: Well, it looks like me, but with a worse credit rating.
Nick: Ben, I refuse to believe that actions have consequences. That’s why I always eat at China Buffet.
Ben: Gross. Speaking of inter-racial relationships, our [...]
Ben: Here’s the movie-criticism baton, sir. Run with it.
Nick: Hey, this is a bowl of peanut shells.
Ben and Nick Moore
Ben: The costume store was out of everything except for Sexy French Maid. So we both exited the theater dressed as that.
Nick: Manliness maintained!
Ben and Nick Moore
Nick: So, please do tune in next month, when we’ll be reviewing Cocoon 3: Sex And The City.
Ben: These grannies are sassy!
Ben and Nick Moore
Nick: Ben, it’s hard to believe that it’s been a year now that we’ve been sitting in this gaudy movie theater set, having our conversations transcribed by a jury-rigged Speak & Spell.
Ben: Someone’s been publishing these?
Ben and Nick Moore
Nick: Well, hi there! Can we see your tickets, please? You theater-hopping scum! ‘Cause it’s time again for Ben & Nick. And we’re all up-in-your-aisle, momma! Ben and Nick Moore
More»Nick: If film criticism is a cake, Ben, then you just jumped out of it in a bikini.
More»Episode 9: At the sound of the atonement
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One missed Oscar ball
Ben: Hello. You may be wondering why we’re wearing these snazzy bowties.
Nick: In order to bring women’s fantasies to life?
Ben: No. Put a shirt on. It’s because it’s Academy Awards time here at Ben & Nick in the aisle! So don’t be surprised, reader, [...]
Episode 8: Charlie Wilson Vs. Pregnant Aliens 2: Requiem Of Secrets
Nick: My name is Nick Moore. I am the last man alive on Earth. I have produced this month’s issue of Cultureweek alone, utilizing only a 1984 version of PageMaker and The Big Little Book of Playboy Party Jokes. If you are reading this, [...]
